Seriously Blocked

I have been seriously blocked for an entire year! Paralyzed! Negative negative negative. What to do? I've been thinking of going to the Chihuli exhibit at the MFA for inspiration. I don't want to do any more trees with creatures in them. I want to work kind of like Adria Arch does. Copy her style and then go off on a new tangent. The theme would be celebration in honor of my first grandchild. I can just see the paint: large and lively brightly colored shapes with highlights and shadows and then doodle like lines overlapping in playful ways. Of course what I see in my head is usually so different from what eventually arrives on the canvas. But you have start with some sort of idea. Or do you? Maybe not. Maybe the trick is to work like Chihuli who seems to let the paint itself take over. Maybe I'll try that? At least I'm imagining the process even though I'm not doing it.

Okay so I finally finished the painting and I really didn't like it at all at first. But I rushed it to the gallery and they thought it was fine. So I left it there and I went back today to photograph it. And I was so surprised! I love it now! However, all the photos I took are blurred. So I guess I'll go back tomorrow and give it another try. Maybe I'll take my tripod.

Finally Finishing

So I finally was able to get beyond the block that was driving me crazy. My meditation practice helped me do this. I started watching my thoughts when I was thinking about painting but not doing it. And I noticed that I was telling myself all these negative things that were keeping me paralyzed. I was thinking that it was a fluke that I had produced paintings that people wanted to buy in the past and that I would never be able to do it again and if I put brush to canvas, I would just make mistake after mistake until I would give up. It's inevitable. That's what my thoughts were telling me. And so I had to watch those thoughts and not get caught up in them. I found this a struggle, a really hard struggle. And finally, I just forced myself to start painting in the midst of the thoughts chattering away in my head.

And once I started the painting, the process itself began to take over. That's not to say that I didn't make lots of mistakes. I did. But it became easier and easier to not get overwhelmed by the mistakes but just realize that making the mistakes is part of the process. So make the mistakes and then paint over them and replace them with something I like better. 

Here is a detail of the painting: the center of the tree. I especially like the cat drooped over the branch at the upper right and the cat and squirrel playing at the bottom left.

  

Started new painting

I started a new painting but made mistakes right at the start. The main problem is size.

I made the fish really really big and one duck about the same size as the fish and the other duck much too large. The other thing I did that didn't work is that I built up the surface so it's really bumpy and now when I paint over what I painted, the bumpy surface shows through. Really messed up. But at least now I feel I know what to do. The other thing I did which didn't look good is that I painted the plants different colors when it's much more effective if I keep the plants different shades of green and blue. I did start to fix the colors of the plants. The design works much better that way. So at least I'm learning! 

But this is really FRUSTRATING. I'm going to have to paint over the two fish on the bottom left and the large duck on the right. And then the surface will be really bumpy so I'll have to paint over it more than once to reduce the bumpiness. What a drag....

               

Painting Again

Well, I finished the last painting--see it at left--and Carmen bought it. I was thrilled and am happy that such a nice and intelligent person likes it well enough to buy it.

So now I have started a new painting. I was considering changing the scene to a winter landscape but I think I'll still stick with the same image and see what happens.The winter scene I've visualized is kind of whitish silver and various tints of blue with orange squirrels and bright red birds. It would be kind of like a glorified Christmas card but I'd have to work hard to avoid being too commercial and quaint.

When I was making the last painting, I was trying to reproduce the scene from the painting I had just completed, although I knew it would be somewhat different because while the previous painting had been 8" X 10", this painting was 10" X 10".

But as I was painting, the birds evolved into these larger more exotic birds with brightly-colored feathers;  the squirrels changed color from being light brown to being light gold and pink. And then I was surprised when cats appeared, bright red ones engaging in dramatic actions.

At left, you can see another section of the painting with the cat, the emerald green and royal blue bird, the light golden squirrel, and the red cat about to pounce on the squirrel.








At right you can see a part of the picture I like a lot. It's of two birds having a lively shouting match. I really

like the energy of their argument.

So the process brought surprises and perhaps if I keep painting this same scene, more surprises will arise, and the scene itself might at some point be entirely transformed.

So I think I'll continue reproducing the same scene but again, this one will be different because it will by larger: 12" X 12" instead of 10" X 10". And you never know what might happen.

Right Side of Painting

Here is the right side of the painting. Hopefully, I'll get to the gallery today and photograph the top.

Left Side of Painting

Here is the left side of the painting. As you can see, I've made my signature part of the painting. I like the way this looks. In the next post, I'll show the right side of the painting.